What If I Hadn't Prayed?

Carolyn Arends 在Christianity Today的專欄Wrestling with Angels一直是我非常喜愛的，這位姐妹對日常瑣事有誠實、獨到的視角。

12月號Christianity Today 她寫了一篇Lessons from an Usher，整篇文章對我非常有啟發（我把它附在此email最下方），其中有一段正中我的要害，與您分享：

A few weeks after that New Year's Eve, I found myself praying about a financial shortfall my husband and I were facing at the end of the month. Three days later, an unexpected check arrived in the mail, matching almost to the penny the amount we needed. My skeptical mind knew the money could have been purely coincidental, but in that instance I had the unprovable but resolute sense that it was God's answer to my prayer. I was of course flooded with immediate gratitude, but within minutes I was undergoing mental gymnastics. What if I hadn't prayed? I wondered. Would God have provided anyway? Do I really have to ask when he knows our needs before we do?

那個除夕之後的幾個星期，我為我們月底的財務需要禱告。三天之後，我們意外收到一張支票，金額幾乎和我們的需要分毫不差。生性懷疑的我通常想到這可能全屬巧合，但那一次，我有無法證明，但又極其肯定的把握：這是神應允了我的禱告！我當然心中立時充滿了感恩，但幾分鐘之後，我又開始心緒不寧、胡思亂想了：如果我沒有禱告會怎樣？神仍然會供應嗎？既然祂早就知道我的需要，為什麽我還需要求告祂呢？
I don't generally hear the audible voice of God. But that particular afternoon, I could have sworn I heard a chuckle. Of course I would have provided, it seemed God was saying. But you wouldn't have had the joy of knowing it was me.

神不常用“肉耳可聞”的方式對我說話，但那個下午，我發誓我真的聽見祂的聲音，神好像在說：當然，我仍會供應你，但是那樣的話，你就不會有“知道是我”的喜樂了！